melnation? :)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

My highschool life is ending.

with a mere 2 days of highschooling left?
sweet.
fuck.
awesome.
areyousrs.
6yearsgoneby.
wheredidtimego?
yeeeeeee!

mixed feelings as you see. :)

formal is this week.
YAYYAYAYAYYAYAY
everyone's gonna look gorgeous,
i hope i look gorgeous.
how fabulous!

so i got umat this week and my atar esimated.
i didnt take it well.
cried a few times.
ep.
so embarassing the marks.
ALRIGHT
so umat: 61 percentil
and atar.. READY FOR THE SHITNESS
70.85
fuck.
sif i'm gonna let myself get 70. 85

SO IM OFF!

oh, loving this pressure.

but more on a srs note.

oh, loving this:

Hello, tell me you know 
Yeah, you figured me out 
Something gave it away 
It would be such a beautiful moment 
To see the look on your face 
To know that I know that you know now 

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking 
You know nothing 
Cause you and I 
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and 
We get along much better 
Than you and your boyfriend 

Well all I really wanna do is a love you 
A kind much closer than friends use 
But I still can't say it after all we've been through 
And all I really want from you is to feel me 
As the feeling inside keeps building 
And I will find a way to you if it kills me 
If it kills me 

Well how long, can I go on like this, 
Wishing to kiss you, 
Before I rightly explode? 
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me 
In fact it makes me nervous 
If I get caught I could be risking it all 

Baby there's a lot that I miss 
In case I'm wrong 

Well all I really wanna do is love you 
A kind much closer than friends use 
But I still can't say it after all we've been through 
And all I really want from you is to feel me 
As the feeling inside keeps building 
And I will find a way to you if it kills me 
If it kills me 

If I should be so bold 
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand 
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man 
But I never said I would 
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again 

All I really wanna do is love you 
A kind much closer than friends use 
But I still can't say it after all we've been through 
And all I really want from you is to feel me 
As the feeling inside keeps building 
And I will find a way to you if it kills me 
If it kills me 
If it kills me 
I think it might kill me 

And all I really want from you is to feel me 
It's a feeling inside that keeps building 
And I will find a way to you if it kills me 
If it kills me 
If it kills me 

It might kill me

i like someone btw.
this song does not literally apply to him! LOL that would be majore freaky stalker of me.
prob just the bold parts.
the song is just beautiful as a whole :)

his name is Tim.

and he will never know cos my communication skills are lacking very much so.
in all honesty, it's quite tragic that i like him.
we havent had a real conversation. see now i should freaky stalkerish.

byeee!

O [xxx] . . . blogged 04:12 pm by melnation !
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Monday, August 31, 2009

weeeell!
school was chillaxing.
received no test results.
sometimes i felt invisible, but hey the world is far from revolving around me.
a special ed killed passed away.
there are always reminders that pull me back to reality.
head up and keep on marching!

O [xxx] . . . blogged 06:14 pm by melnation !
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Sunday, August 30, 2009

dearest me.

so yeah, Justin's was pretty much a bust.
so yeah, spent the night smiling/looking after drunken friends.
so yeah, was grateful that Nat got smashed off her face so i actually had something to do.

and so.. who the fuckeeennnnn cares! :D
dont even know if that makes sense. LOL
but what i'm tryin gto say is..
WAHEVZ!

i only have 5WEEKS OF MY HIGH SCHOOL LIFE LEFT!
and i'm gonna make them count.
(tomoz i'm probably getting a few results from trials..
which may drive me away from being optimistic.. but hopefully i just remeber that there is a bigger picture.
the hsc.
and i still get my own mark.)

O [xxx] . . . blogged 08:29 pm by melnation !
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Friday, August 28, 2009

trials are fin.

greeeeeeat
now i can go crazy and paranoid over preparing for the-worst-case-scenario-marks.
okay. i know thats totally melodramatic x 4893248023 LOL but man. i cant help it.
but okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP!
ITS OVER!
AND YAY TO TO THAT!
AND JUSTINS PARTY IS TOMOZ AND THAT WILL BE GOOD.
TEST IS OVER
AND DONE
DONE
DONE
DONE!
just focus on the bigger pic.. HSC EXAM
*breathes*

oki.

O [xxx] . . . blogged 10:50 pm by melnation !
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Friday, August 21, 2009

oh, yeah.

i turned 18.

O [xxx] . . . blogged 01:56 pm by melnation !
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boo you, trials > time limit > english paper 2

I havent blogged in awhile. i've been studyingggggg for trialsssss and today i dont have an exam. :D (faints onto bed - well not really, i'm currenly on mathsonline and studying 3u. this is site it the shiz.)
i've finished english (both papers) modern and 2u maths.
FML.
i forgot the perpendicular formula in maths D: .. totally UNDERestimated the test.
i cant believe i did that. it's the trials.. DUH IT'LL BE HARD. spewin'.
me and adrian attempted the PREDICT THE TEST.. and HOMG. backfirededededdddd. so POSITIVE that the Germany essay would be on Totalitarianism OR propaganda.. totally WRONG. D: and i bullshitted like i've never bullshitted before. LOL (made up a Richard Evans quote on his attitude towards the Nazi foreign policy)
and englisssssssh.
paper 2 was coolz. despite me not finsihing section1 the last question... i worked backwards, and i think it worked well. (i hope, i'll replying on this paper to pull me through and not totally devastate my ranking... *heartbreaks + exhale*)
paper 2.. worked so hard with Hai (who is legend) and memorised.. but i didnt have enough time to complete it.
TOTAL BURN
i bitched about it on boredofstudies aswell but no one replied to what i said so i feel stupid. LOL
i hated module c (STILL. DO.) and fixed the essay.. and wont even know if i get the gist cos i didnt finsih.
TOTAL BURN
FML

NONETHELESS.
those exams are over.
i have chem, 3u, phys and english ext to focus on.
which i will kick ass.
i'm sick of not kicking ass.
OFFNOW, TOSTUDY&KICKASS.

O [xxx] . . . blogged 01:43 pm by melnation !
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

WATCHED HARRY POTTER

AND I LOVERED IT!
it was really good.
really enjoyable.
i love luna. she's the most awesomest airhead in the world.
and i love ron and hermonie! totaly sweetness!
harry and ron were funny man!
the whole SKIN SCENE was hilarious.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO chris' partay!
croquembouche.. FAILFAIL!!! LOL OHWELLZ!
we burnt the caramel causing major bitterness.. and hte base cracked
D: but chris loved it!!!
i had an alright time.
everyone was tipsy/drunk.
so everyone was a dickhead or extremely slow. LOL
but hey, took kick ass photos.. so coolness.
OMG! my last entry when i said i hope no one ever brings up if i've had made out with anyone? yeah it happened at the party.
i had a feeling as soon as a typed what i typed that i may had just jinxed it. LOL
but it was cool cos Ben asked and he was all drunk (thank God) so yah :D
EW speaking of Ben he gave me a 'gay fish kiss' on the cheek.
it was wrong on so many levels.
one cos its Ben and two.. he just... hang off your cheek.
totally Ew.
OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
THOMAS GAVE ME BACK MY BEAR!
so previous get together at chris' i couldnt take thomas home and so he took my bear!!!
and all this time i've been telling him.. GIVE ME BACKMY BEAR
so i drove him and michelle home
and reminded him about my bear and he was all fine fine.
and i'l all FINALLY D:
and so he comes out with a box.
and i all thinking WTF
and turns out he had lost my bear (knew it) but he bought one on ebay and it was brown and said 'MELISSA'S TEDDY'. but hten during spring cleaning he found my bear.
WHOO :)
cos you know, that bear def. hold sentimental value. Katie gave it to me. :)
Thomas' bear is so cute though. love it.
totally made my night. :)
lovely!

i srsly love the dress i found at vinnies. very awesome teamed up with heels and stockings.
yaya.

Look down - the ground below is crumbling
Look up - the stars are all exploding

It's the last day on earth
In my dreams
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
In my dreams

BAHAHHAH thomas keeps listening ot this song due to a chick on Neighbours dying and this is the song they play.
but its a hella of a good song.
as you can note. :)

HOMG! i cant believe i almsot didnt blog this.
i had my last offical lesson with Truong!
and he did a DNM speech.
i couldnt look at him directly for the whole speech.
there were times i had to look down so i wouldn't cry. D:
but indeed i got teary.
one chick cried. Vivianne. i hope i spelt her name right.
she's really nice.
she made everyone take a group photo with sir. LOL everyone felt obliged to do so i believe.
and hOMG at the end.. she was like Do you want to take a pic iwth Sir?
and i was thinking oooooooooright.
but turned out she said the Scribe's name... which i cant spell HAHA but it sounds like Sir obv.
and i was all :o noooooooooo *embarassment to the maxx*
but we took it.
HAHA yay i guess? :p

oh and recall my essay i was proud of? turns out there wasnt much to be proud of.
LOL
i'm working on it!

SIGNINGOFF!

O [xxx] . . . blogged 05:43 pm by melnation !
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Friday, July 17, 2009

oh shitvers.

I'M GUILTY!
I HAVENT JOGGED! D:
crapcrapcrap.
i now fall under the category of an annnoying chick who complains about her weight and does nothing about it.
well..
THATS UNTRUE!
cos i am indeed eating healthiER
e.g. i'm snacking less
and yday when i had the option of a Flava Wrap.. i ordered a GRILLED CHICKEN MEDITERRANEAN WRAP
LOL
nah but... i LOVE Red Rooster's Flava ...so that's totally saying something.
whoooo party tomoz.
and!! yday when we (sarah and soph and i) went shopping- well not so much shopping WITH them, since i was more with my mum; but whatevawhatevz... i found a purple, fabulous, classic, timeless, VINTAGE dress!
spaghetti staps and comes 3/4 down my thighs.
reeeeeeeeal fitting.
and so totally BOO ME for not excercing this morn as i was like in the Vinnies fitting room thinking- ha.. my ass looks big. shall excercise tomoz!
FAILFAILFAIL!
i got black heels too!
the outfit is totally complete.
and tomoz we're making mountain cake at my house!!!
i cant spell it- but i'll find out by the next entry. :D
today i fnished my belonging essay!
and i can actually say i am proud.
before i was iffy with my discussion, but now it has definitely become more structured and intergrated!
Nav went to the llibrary yday aswell at like 6ish- when sarah and soph left.
and it was so productive!
shes so fantastic.
total wiz at chem and answering my manyMANY questions.
SUPPOSED TO WATCH HP YDAY! BUT THAT DIDNT HAPPEN COS NO ONE COULD COME!
BOOOOOO TO THE MAXXXXXXX
sososoososoooo excited!!!
me and sarah are- soph isnt. LOL
i just read jess' 'review' on it as well. SHE LOVED IT. it's a bittersweet feeling. Happy that it'll be awesome- jealous cos.. SHE WATCHED IT?
but i shall be patient...
D:
srsly so glad about belonging!
i've sent it to my brother and i'm going to send it to Jess tonight when he's done.
and then tomoz i can give to Tishler!
and when Du Du comes back from Vietnam... she too shall read. haha.. i sound pretty annoying.
nowi have to read up on Hamlet and justice game and then i'll be set for Trials/HSC.
wow my heat skipped a beat when i typed that.
GREYS SEASON FINALE WAS ON LAST NIGHT.
MY OH MY.
i was BEYOND shocked.
Izzy and George died and the elevator scene ('heaven') was so beautiful.
Izzy in her pink dress.
George in his army uniform.
It was beautiful.
sarah said that when Greys comes back we'll watch it together cos we'll have nothing better to do.
i hope from the bottom of my heart that is true.
:D
crap!
i also have to do creative.
man oh man. :(
had to do the dishes just then and lots of thoughts came up.
devek had sent a forward that had something do to with what guys think.
there was this one part which i truely believe is perfect.
Girl and guy in movies:
Guy: put arms around girl
Girl: tilts her head on his shoulder
Guy: lifts her chin up and kisses her.
HOW PERFECT?
i have yet to receive my first kiss.
HAHAHHA how embarassing.
right now alli can think of is the cover of Drew Barrymore's 'Never Been Kissed'.
great. D:
well, in defence i'm not too fussed about it.
only if someone asks me! then! i'll get embarassed!
man. i hope no one asks. hope it never comes up.
though i can imagine it comingup in Physics.
THAT WOULD SUCK.
HOMG THOMAS HAS A GF
HAHAHHAHA
her name is Catalina and shes in year 2 and he's in year 4 and she goes to Vietnamese school with him and she said 'I'll miss you' and Thomas said 'Cool'.
AHHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HOW CUTE
sytycd is on tonighttttt!
masterchef finals tooo!
yeeeeeeee
must finish modern tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whooo to Cute is what we aim for's Navigate Me!

'Cause a mind on a mission
With enough ammuntion
And the right propositon
Is a mind that you might set free
'Cause a mind on a mission
With enough ammution
And the proper position
Is a mind that you just set free

BAHAHA totally out of context since the song is 'bout SEX but whatevz!
can easily be formed into a motivational song... not so much.
HAHA
ta!

O [xxx] . . . blogged 06:54 pm by melnation !
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Thursday, July 16, 2009

alright

so.. i am beyond glad that no one knows of my blogs existence. :D

srsly.
cos if ppl knew i wouldnt be able to say this-

lately my self-esteem is at an all time low. D:
so iknow girls go on and on about their weight and all...
but i've gained.
and.
oh.
i've gained.
resutling.
in.
LOVE HANDLES!

*exhales*
can't even admit it to myself without being ashamed. D:
but yesssss i face reality.
and the reality is i eat when i'm bored and that used to be okay.
but it's not longer okay as i do not play tennis anymore.
and so i jog in the morning.
well i jog more so to have a piece of mind.
as well as maximising my hours of they day. :D
i've only jogged Monday and eversince... LOL
wwwwwellllll i WILL JOG TOMOZ.
i love my new header pic.
if only i had her legs. D:
i want lets that go on for days!
and fit into a pair of LIGHT COLOURED JEANS!
but ooohwellz.
this is as good as its gonna get.
i will always be a size 12 with a size 11 leeway.
my fast metabolism is slowly failing me too. D:
sooooo yes. i definitely need to do my jogging.
not only to achieve a piece of mind- but to REMAIN a size 12.
like jeez. if i jump a size...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i weight 62kg.
last year i was 60kg.
i contemplated that the +2kg may be boob weight? LOL
but... i think i'm in denial.
yeah. i'm in denial.
MY GOAL 55kg.
yes.
55kg by formal/asap pls.

OOOOH totally LOVING Keri Hilson's new song.
more so Kanye West's bit.
leaving on that note. :)

see it's definitely with entires like these... glad i didnt tell anyone of my blog's existence.
Lovely!

Keep rockin', and keep knockin'
Whether you Louis Vuitton it up or Reebokin'
You see the hate, that they're servin' on a platter
So what we gon' have, dessert or disaster?

O [xxx] . . . blogged 01:00 am by melnation !
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Friday, July 10, 2009

OOOOOOOH LA!

In their eyes is the place that you finally discovered
That you love it here, you've got to stay
On the bottom of the rock, an island
On which you find you love it when you twitch
You feel that itch in you pettycoat
Your pretty pretty pettycoat

Then you smiled, he got wild
You didn't understand that there's money to be made
Beauty is a card that must get played
By organisation

And ooh la, she was such a good girl to me
And ooh la, the world just chewed her up, and spat her out
And ooh la, she was such a good girl to me
And ooh la, the world just chewed her up, and spat her out

The world can be a very big place
So be yourself don't get out of place
Love your man and love him twice
Go to Hollywood and pay the price
Oh go to Hollywood!

And don't be a star, it's such a drag
Take care of yourself, don't begin to lag
It's a hard life to live, so live it well
I'll be your friend and not in pretend
I know you girl
In all situations

And ooh la, she was such a good girl to me
And ooh la, the world just chewed her up, and spat her out
And ooh la, she was such a good girl to me
And ooh la, the world just chewed her up, and spat her out

Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty
Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pettycoat
Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty
Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pettycoat
In all situations!

totally stuckkkk in my head. and oooh la! the best man. haha.
IT'S THE HOLZ!
YAYYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAY!
crap! so like... i'm guilty of have one hour of sleep last night. Eep. IT WAS FRANKY. (and Ugly Betty).
toook me ages as first had to edit like crazy. then cut like crazy. and theeeennnnn reference. killlerrrrr! but YAYAYYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYA! did it! and evidently, survived. I'm happy with what i had as my end result. :D
went excursioning today.
i slept at 6;30 and sarah called at 7;55. i fulleh panicked on the count of i hadnt finished referencing and all that shizzz and we had to leave cecil at 8;20.
SOOOOO totally missed the train LOL but all good! when uSyd Fisher Library and got info fo'eng like there was no tomorrow.
i was pretty crazy the first half of the excursion... i would say on the verge of hysterical due to my lack of sleep and stuffed up nose. i my pronciation and articulation was jsut appaulling LOL and so was my typing. i was pretty sooky. D: BUT in my defence, WE GOT LOST LIKE 489038490328 TIMES AND I WAS HUNGRYHUNGRYHUNGRY!
we walked through 'The Block' in redfern- apparently notorious for it's high crime rates. Had to admit... i was pretty scared! power walked my way to the train station!
and theeeeennnnn the day hadnt ended- got to livo and transit officers were EVERYWHERE and me and sarah had got tickets from Cab only... so i was shitting my pants. But! sarah had aa genius idea of catchign the train back to Cab LOL cos instead of watching a movie- chillax at Gloria Jeans with magazines instead! and ooooh it was ga-oooooood.
YAYAYYAY! HOLZ!
YAYYAYAYAYAY SOYOUTHINKYOUCANDANCE AMERICA ON TONIGHT!
YAYAYYAYAYA I TAPED GREYS LAST NIGHT AND HOPING TO WATCH IT TONIGHT TOOOO!

yeeee

O [xxx] . . . blogged 07:08 pm by melnation !
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